A Conspiracy Theory About the Conspiracy Theories Surrounding Obama's Birthplace

48 years ago yesterday, Barack Hussein Obama Jr. Was born in Honolulu, Hawaii to Stanley Ann Dunham and Barack Hussein Obama Sr., that is, if you believe the liberal media's version of events.

There's a growing number of Americans who are buying into the idea that Obama was actually born in Kenya, which is significant because the U.S. constitution forbids anyone not born in the United States from holding the office of the presidency. Of course, there is a loophole for those born before the nation was founded and who therefore couldn't technically have been born in the United States.  But that statute was penned at a time when being born abroad was the least of ones concerns when it came to asserting his or her rights as a citizen.  The fact that no similar passage was included to bar women and Blacks is a reflection of the shear laughability of a Black man or a woman even thinking about trying to be president of the newly formed nation.  After all neither group would get the right to vote until almost a century later (a century and a half in the case of women).

Had such a passage existed, it would have long been made obsolete with the necessary amendments.  And in fact, many commentators believe that the article excluding those who aren't "natural born citizens" (whatever that means) should also be amended.  Nonetheless, this seemingly inconsequential section of the constitution has become the lynchpin of the so-called "birther" movement, a collection of right-wing wackjobs out to prove that Obama isn't a natural born citizen of the United States and is therefore an illegitimate president.  But that's just the sanitized version.  The implication is that Obama is a manchurian candidate foisted upon the U.S. by nefarious forces that are sophisticated enough to execute this and other conspiracies in order to achieve the ultimate goal of turning America into a socialist dictatorship.  Also, like many extreme right-wing conspiracy theories, this one is not without its fair share of racial undertones - I don't recall Bill Clinton or John McCain being asked repeatedly to release their birth certificates, even though the latter was actually born in what is now Panama.

Even though the conspiracy theory has been roundly and repeatedly debunked with everyone from Factcheck.org to the director of the Department of Health for the state of the Hawaii vouching for the validity of Obama's birth certificate, the birthers are insisting that Obama is not who he says he is.  What isn't in dispute is that the birth certificate that has been released is a short-form and it is not the original.  Now, depending on who you believe, either (a) the original no longer exists since it is typically only released to the family by request and has since been destroyed by the state along with thousands of others, or (b) Obama has decided, for reasons related to privacy, not to authorize the state to release his original birth certificate to any and every nutcase, right-wing blogger looking to make a name for himself, or (c) the certificate never existed in the first place because Barack Hussein Obama Jr. was conceived and birthed by his 18-year-old, white American mother while on a spring break trip to a remote village in Kenya.

Numerous state officials have confirmed that the short-form that has been released online is official and is sufficient to prove that Obama was in fact born in Hawaii.  But that hasn't stopped even mainstream figures of the American right from suggesting the birther movement has legitimate concerns or from demanding that Obama release his original birth certificate and end the controversy once and for all.

So when I see clips like this one, I can't help but to think that maybe there is a conspiracy going on here, although not the one that the birthers are alleging.  As the movement picks up momentum, every rank-and-file GOP legislator is being forced to come up with a stance on the issue that doesn't ridicule or alienate this essential segment of their base, but that also doesn't make them look stupid enough to believe this nonsense.  As you can see, it's an extremely difficult task and the triangulations that result can be priceless.

I'm not suggesting that Obama is secretly going out and hiring imposters to serve as leaders of the birther movement, but it may be possible that he has hampered efforts to release additional documents that could conclusively prove the birthers wrong.  And if he is, I don't blame him.  Just as the 9-11 truthers managed to create divisions within the left and had mainstream democrats defending the war criminal that is George Bush, the birthers have managed to divide the right, and now they even have right-wing extremists like Ann Coulter to siding with Obama.

Not that I have any evidence for this theory whatsoever.  But why would you want reasoned and articulate policy experts representing your opposition when you could instead be going up against people like this...