Be a Man

I'm with the Lee family because it's late and I'm too tired to return home.   I'm finishing up some work in the living room of their apartment.  Across from me is the dining area, the kitchen and a hallway that leads to several other rooms.  Mrs. Lee is in the kitchen preparing dinner and she expects Mr. Lee home any minute.  The kids, Gordon and George, are in a room watching Japanese anime.

After a while, George comes out to the living room.  “Hi John.  Man, I'm tired.  I watched so many episodes of Wolf.”

“Don't you have any homework?”  I ask.

“No.”

“Back in the day, old people use to tell me, 'How can you not have any homework?  When we were in Grade 9, we had to do 5 hours of homework every night.'    George, I feel like telling you the same thing, but that would make me sound old.”

George whimpers, “Oh, but I don't have any homework.  I finished it in class.”

“Whatever, you're just lazy.  You waste too much time watching anime and playing video games.”

Mr. Lee finally returns home.  He doesn't look exhausted for a man who works two full time jobs: supermarket delivery person by day and warehouse person by night.  This is the typical life of a low income bread-provider.  Despite the slave labour, Mr. Lee looks relatively energetic today.

“Hi Mr. Lee.  You're looking well.  Have you been able to rest these days?”

“Hi John.  Yah, so so.  Bad news, I lay off from warehouse.  Good news, I sleep more.  Bad news, no money.  Good news, I have anuder job application.  John, you help me wif job application?”

“You're looking for another job?”

“Yes, I want work at New Asia Packaging.  I apply for fork lif drive, but I don't understand English on form.”  Mr. Lee turns to page two of his application and reads slowly, “'Why do you wich to work at New Asia Packaging?'  John, how I answer?  How I white?”

Mrs. Lee advises from the raging wok in the kitchen, “Say you like da benefit.  Benefit good.”

”Ah?  Should I white dat?”

Mr. Lee hands me the application.  The application asks the usual questions, “Where were you previously employed?”, “What are your qualifications?” and “Why do you want to work for this company?”  These questions aren't difficult to answer and given that the employers are uneducated Chinese people, it doesn't take much effort to prepare a glowing job application.

Mr. Lee says, “Aiieee....It hard to find a job now.  If I younger, people will hire me.  But I 50 year old now.  People say I don't work as fast as young people.  Young people more cheap to hire.”

”Hmm...yeah, I know.   Don't worry. Gordon will graduate in five years.  George in seven.   They'll both get good jobs so you and Mrs. Lee won't have to work two jobs anymore.”

“I hope so.  George and Gordon should work harder.”

George whimpers, “Oohhh...”

I review the application again.   If the language on the application is too intelligent, Mr. Lee will seem  over-qualified.  If the language on the application is too poor, Mr. Lee will seem under-qualified.  This is the perfect assignment for a Grade 9 student.  I turn to George. “Alright George, I found you some homework. Help your dad fill out this job application. You'll be seeing lots of them so start practicing now.”

George slouches over and plaintively says, “Aw man...” He takes a look at the application and is discouraged further. “I don't know what to write.”

“It's simple. Go on Google, type in the question and copy the first answer you see. It's a very common question so I'm sure you'll find something. The employers are backward Chinese village-like people, so they aren't good with English or computers.  They won't know that you copied from the Internet because they don't know what the Internet is.” 

“Aw...man....” George whimpers again. “But Gordon's using the computer.”

“Gordon is watching anime. I'm sure your dad's job is more important.” George gets up and walks dis-spiritedly to the computer room.  Everyone else disbands.

I finish up some emails on my laptop and head over to George's room to check on his progress.  I announce my arrival and enter.  George is at his computer reading some on-line comics.  I'm disappointed. “George, why are you reading comics? I thought I told you to fill out your dad's resume.”

“It's not comics.  It's manga.”  George clicks on a previously opened window and a resume re-appears.  “Do I really have to do this?”

“Yes you do.  You know why?”

George whimpers again, “Ohh......”

“Because your parents work really hard.  They both work like mad to pay the bills and to make you fat.  They don't know English and they both never went to school.  So it's very tough for them.  They look to you and Gordon to take over the family one day.  And when that day comes, it will be a glorious day, one worthy of a great song.  Your parents will be so happy and relieved.   It will be like emancipation from slavery.  You and Gordon will be great people one day.”  I utter these words the way they were once uttered to me.  George stares dumbly at his monitor and clicks mindlessly on the web page links.   “Hey man, are you even listening to me?”

George replies in a drawn out tone, “Yeah I know.  Finish the job application.”

Oh well, I tried.  When I was fourteen, I didn't listen either.