Being the Good Guy Sucks

I don’t want you to be the guy in the PG-13 movie everyone’s really hoping makes it happen. I want you to be like the guy in the rated R movie, you know, the guy you’re not sure whether or not you like yet. You’re not sure where he’s coming from. Okay? You’re a bad man. You’re a bad man. You’re a bad man, bad man.

No, I am the good guy and after twenty-seven years I have finally had enough. Doing the right thing, helping people and trying to make a positive difference are not valued anymore. Nobody seems to care about goodness so why should I? Maybe thirty years ago or in some other country being the good guy could work but in 2009 and where I am at goodness is overlooked and forgotten.

Mr. Deeds lied to me. Hollywood lied to me. The Jim Halperts of the world do not get the girl or a fairytale ending; they just get chewed up and spit out by the world. The good guy is basically the real world's version of all the movie characters played by James Marsden. Thomas De Haven, author of It's Superman said about the comic book hero:

The essence of Superman, the character, is selfless philanthropy. He does what he does, not for any reward, but because he wants to. It’s in his nature and in the nature of the ‘career’ he invented for himself. That still appeals.

The appeal of Superman is being tested today. Goodness still exists but it does not seem to be appreciated. Superman has to be a fictional character because it is too hard for most people to live a selfless life. From my perspective, trying to do the right thing has gotten me nowhere. The worst position is to be the good guy who is good but not THAT good. The guys on the Greenpeace boats have rightfully earned a certain amount of respect from society but the good guys who try to do right in their everyday lives get none and are often pushovers. At work, the good guy is the one who gets taken advantage of. He is the one working Christmas eve because nobody else would volunteer. In relationships, the good guy is the one caught listening to Take That's Want You Back for an unreasonable amount of time. With regards to friendships, the good guy is leaned on until he is no longer needed. Society preys upon the good guy's selflessness. The good guy's function in life is to make everybody else happy and do the things they do not want to do, all with a smile on his face.

Often the good guy feels like a loser. It happens when the internal value of doing something good is questioned. Leading him to wonder whether it is really worth it to be good? The expectations for the good guy are unfair. Life is relentless as he always has to be good. Any slip up by him will be magnified and remembered. However, if somebody with a "lesser" character does a rare altruistic act then it gets applauded and mentioned. Maybe I am a little jaded and dead inside but after twenty-seven years I am starting to feel that I don't want to fight the supposed good fight anymore. At this point, I don't know what I am even fighting for. Doing the right thing has lost its initial luster for me. I find myself wondering why I continue to try and do the right thing. Maybe I should start to think about myself from now on? The good guy can live a decent life but there are so many other people who only look out for themselves that seem happier and have fewer worries.

Everybody's goal in life is to be happy. Since I am currently unhappy, I question whether being happy and doing the right thing can coexist. Heck, I am willing to even consider that my version of good might not even be good or that I might not be trying enough. Regardless, being me/the good guy feels out of place. I was telling my friend a story about a TTC subway ride home from this past summer. I was listening to some music when a bunch of young girls switched seats and sat around me. I noticed something was wrong and found out that some big guy on the other side of the train was acting really creepy towards them. I asked them to point him out and then told them just to stay around my area. Sure enough, another young girl sat beside him and I watched as he started talking to her. She did not react or respond so then the guy started to kiss her. She screamed and after a brief moment of ineptitude, I got up and took her off the train. The part that irks me is that it was not like the train was empty and it was not like I was the only guy there but nobody else stepped in? I am not the biggest guy in the world, all I know is that I was bigger than the girl he was harassing. I understand we are now a non-interventionist society but there are some things that are just wrong. Obviously there is something wrong with that guy but is there not also something wrong with the other onlookers for not helping? After telling my friend the story he replied with, "Yeah I don't know if I would have done anything. He might have had a knife or something." Upon further reflection, my friend is right. In all likelihood the unpleasant incident would have resolved itself at the next train stop. She would have left the train and other than a bad memory, the situation would have probably gone away. I realize now that there are a lot of wrongs in the world and maybe you need to pick your battles. The sad(?) thing is that even agreeing with my friend's reply, given a second chance, I still would do the same thing because it feels like the right thing to do. Maybe it is not the most intelligent plan of action, but I still have to try and do the right thing at any given time. I guess that makes me society’s loser. Everybody has a cross to bear; being the good guy is apparently mine.

I'm not a prophet or a stone aged man, just a mortal with potential of a superman. I'm living on. --David Bowie