Culture versus culture; growing up Asian American in America

When you speak with Asian immigrants and hear heavily accented English, they are usually Republicans.  If an Asian-American speaks General American English, he is usually a Democrat.

- Sasha Gong, Harvard PhD, Chinese-American, and Republican candidate for the Virginia House of Delegates.

While Ms. Gong’s statement, like any sweeping declaration is a massive generalization, it is not without an element of truth. Older Asians-Americans (or Asian-Canadians) do tend to be more conservative, while second-generation Asian-Americans tend to be more progressive and liberal. Of course, that can be said of any people regardless of culture. Older generations are by nature more conservative than younger generations; but this disparity seems especially pronounced between Asian Diaspora and their North American born children.

For second-generation Asian children life is a constant struggle between the traditional conservative values of your parents, and the relatively progressive environment surrounding you outside. This in and of itself is hardly a novel observation; virtually every piece of art created by an Asian-American artist delves into the conflict between these two worlds. But does it have to be a conflict? Is it possible to pick and choose the best from each?

As I get older, conversations with my parents have gotten more and more interesting. When you’re young, parents aren’t people, so much as disciplinarians. But now that I’ve been fully raised (or as close as I’m going to get to it) my parents have taken the foot off the disciplinarian gas pedal and begun to converse with me like an actual person. In doing so, I’ve gained insights into them not only as people, but ‘traditional’ Vietnamese people as a whole (Jesus, I’m stereotyping my own parents).

When my parents gossip at the dinner table about their friends, and their friends’ children, the subject inevitably focuses on their professions and academic accomplishments. When I was younger I found this somewhat annoying. After all a person should be more than how they did in school or what they do for a living. It even struck me as somewhat shallow. But as I age, the worth in how my parents prioritized their values has become more and more apparent.

Studies show that contrary to popular perception, Asians do not have a proclivity for science and math; in fact, on average pre-school Asians do worse than their white counterparts on standardized math and science tests. It is not until after years of hard work that Asians (if you read Malcolm Gladwell’s Outliers, Asians that descended from the Pearl River Delta specifically) become proficient at math, and all academics. To my parents, and their peers, this hard work was a necessary part of achieving what is worthwhile: professional and academic success.

Watching Vietnamese television is no different than listening to a typical dinner conversation with my parents. Even the variety shows take a breath from all the singing and dancing to celebrate Vietnamese immigrants that have become successes in their respective fields. While it’s unlikely that American Idol would ever pause to give an award to a thirty-seven year old computer science engineer that recently became Vice-President of Texas Instruments, it’s a common occurrence on Vietnamese programs. Last month I watched a Vietnamese news program that spent fifteen minutes of a thirty minute show, profiling Vietnamese Americans in Orange County that recently graduated from medical school. There wasn’t any journalism going on per se’, just unabashed patting on the back.

A part of me still can’t help but be annoyed occasionally. While an extra amount of attention is paid to Vietnamese successes that excel in a white, western European industries, Vietnamese-Americans who do well in the arts are given significantly less notice. There’s an overriding financial pragmatism in Vietnamese culture that devalues any study that cannot be immediately commoditised and turned into a money-making profession. I remember my mother routinely telling her friends that I was a science major in university, conveniently leaving the political part in front of it. I’m pretty sure that she’s blocked the fact that I minored in film completely out of her memory bank.

Does this attitude have its downsides? Sure. Talking to relatives and Vietnamese friends who have been excelled academically, it becomes clear that while they are excellent test-takers, and possess extreme discipline and narrow-minded focus, there remains only a surface understanding of the subjects that they study. While a lot of my cousins may want to become doctors, but not many seem to be particularly passionate about it. As John pointed out, (Asian) values place the family and its reptutation as the #1 priority. As a result, children often find themselves trying to succeed in fields to satisfy their parents rather than themselves. Couple that with a mentality where deference must constantly be paid to elders, the unwillingness of some Asians to question conventional wisdom can sometimes be maddening. And yet, when I'm talk to my nieces and nephews I find myself repeating the same mantras my parents told me while I was growing up.

During my contrarian youth, I took pride, sometimes subconsciously, sometimes not; to indulge in what I thought was ‘un-Vietnamese’ behaviour.  Now I realize how silly that was. Not because my parents were always right, but because I was too blind to see the value in a lot of what they were saying. Ideally, as we get older, we can pick and choose what works best for us. Until then, I've found myself asking my parents for advise more often than I thought I ever would.