Going too far? Part III - The curse of "no homo"

Homophobia is stupid. I mean how silly is it to hate or fear someone for being gay? The same obviously goes for racism and sexism. But the thing about homophobia I’m finding more insidious and difficult to address isn’t so much the fear or hatred of gays and lesbians, but the fear and/or paranoia of saying or doing anything that resembles affection towards a member of the same sex.

I find this type of homophobia more prevalent with the fellas than it is with the ladies. I know there might be a few women out there that might feel a tinge of anti-lesbian bias around other women, but dudes are the most outspokenly against saying or doing anything that can remotely be construed as gay.

We're so paranoid in fact that we had to coin the phrase "no homo" to shield anything we say from any possible homosexual double-entendre. Slate has an article from a while back that said it was a form of progress, allowing rappers to express affection towards other men while maintaining their masculinity. But if you ask me it’s a smokescreen, a way of prolonging a long overdue discussion on what masculinity is and why it’s defined in such narrow terms. 

Still, you can’t help but laugh at the use of the term, particularly when it’s applied to something so benign. Gay jokes in general are fairly typical fodder for straight men. I would be outright lying if I said I never equated something negative with being gay. I was in hysterics once after receiving an email of two friends of mine, one friend with his arm slung across my other male friend’s shoulder, their heads slightly tilted too close to each other. You can probably predict the email chain that followed. 

You could argue this type of homophobia is simple playground childishness among good buddies and doesn’t necessarily reflect our real views vis-à-vis gay people. But this type of humour stretches far beyond my circle of friends. 

Indeed, homophobia has seeped into mainstream society to such a large degree that it almost escapes unnoticed. It’s probably the reason Ron Howard thought he could get away with including a gay joke in the trailer for his Vince Vaughn/Kevin James bromance The Dilemma. 

I realize comedy sort of gets a pass when it comes to making politically-incorrect jokes, but I question the wisdom of continually using gay as a derisive remark, particularly when just being called that word can evoke both humiliation and hostility from its target.

There’s a sort of perverse irony when a show like Glee, which goes to great lengths to point out the immaturity and cruelty of homophobia, actually inspires homophobic acts. A few weeks ago, students from Jarvis Collegiate were accused of throwing slushies at residents and business owners in the Church and Wellesley area, better known as the Gay Village. 

The fact that the only lesson these hooligans took from this show was another tactic to bully gay people with really speaks to just how entrenched and idiotic homophobia really is, making its undoing only that much harder (no homo).