Before I embark on this blog, I need to layout a multitude of caveats. I confess, the title of this blog is pretty ambitious and it may even imply a certain degree of arrogance. So let me start by saying that this blog does not contain the recipe for a magic love potion that will get any guy the girl of his dreams. Nor does it contain any advice that would even begin to approach the level of effectiveness that I imagine a magic potion might offer. Secondly, I’m not a cassanova, nor do I claim to be. However, after more than a decade of participation in various incarnations of the dating game (the game for short) I’ve observed many trends, which I think can offer some insight into how each person can best use their own abilities the maximize their market value.
I also don’t want to paint “pretty girls” as mindless, soulless automatons who can easily be deciphered, exploited, bamboozled, or otherwise manipulated. That being said, I do believe that pretty girls tend to be slightly less intelligent than their more aesthetically challenged counterparts. I’ve outlined the reasons for this in a previous blog. For the record, I suspect the same principles apply to men. Therefore, this blog is intended for smart guys who probably aren’t male model material, but who have other things to offer, and are curious as to how they can best harness their non-physical attributes. By virtue of the fact that you’re reading this blog, I’m gonna go ahead and assume that you’re probably in this category (no offense).
Now that that’s out of the way, let’s get started…
It’s no secret that hot girls routinely date men that are much less attractive than they are. A lot of the time we just assume that the guy is filthy rich and the girl is a gold-digger, but this isn’t always the case. I plan to outline three simple strategies that can help the average joe land a date with a dime, irrespective of looks or income.
1) Be interesting
This is the ultimate leveler of the playing field. Extremely attractive people tend to be less interesting, often because they’ve never had to cultivate the more cognitive aspects of their personality. This can be a huge advantage that you might have over more physically attractive competitors, especially when you’re in a bar. Also, it helps to remember that pretty girls like to be entertained. (Well, everyone does, but pretty girls especially like it.) So if you’re in a bar and you’re not the type that’s going to be able to get phone numbers off looks alone, try approaching a girl by telling her an interesting story. Say something like, “Oh my god! I have to tell you this crazy story that you just reminded me of…” Very few women will turn down this offer. If your story is good, you’ve got a great starting point from which to spit your game.
The mistake a lot of guys make is to ask pretty girls questions. This makes them do work, which they generally don’t like to do. Also, if your questions are too probing, they can create an air of desperation. See, the thing about questions is that you’re essentially requesting information. This can remove you from a position of power and make you appear weak if you’re swag isn’t right. Don’t get me wrong, a few questions are necessary to keep your target engaged. After all, nobody goes to a bar to be subjected to a 10 minute monologue, but you should be able to mix things up, and definitely steer clear of anything that might resemble an interrogation.
Further to that point, you should never be afraid to approach a group of women. This has so many benefits that I don’t even know where to start. If you use the “story” strategy and you can keep a group of 3 or 4 women engaged simultaneously, this bodes well for you in the eyes of, not only the girls you’re talking to, but also any other girls who happen to catch a glimpse of you in action. Seeing you as the centre of attention makes you an object of desire and increases your social value. Approaching a group, as opposed to an individual, also allows to you to assess which girls have boyfriends and which girls are most likely to be interested so that you can make an educated guess as to which one is the best one to try to pursue.
Being interesting is just as important once you actually start dating. You must have seen those couples where the girl is super hot and the guy is average looking but he’s constantly making her laugh or enlightening her with engaging insights. These seem to be the terms of agreement that a lot of couples settle upon (i.e. he gets to look at her and be seen with her, and she gets to be constantly entertained), and sometimes this works, at least for a short period. Some of these skills are harder to acquire than others, but guys who are well-read, well-travelled, and well-educated shouldn’t have too much of a problem fulfilling this requirement.
2) Be Busy
One mistake that a lot of guys make when they’re dating pretty girls is to become infatuated and want to spend every waking moment with her. This is a huge mistake. A better approach is to ration your time by making sure you have a lot of things on the go at once. This way, when you do get to spend time with the girl that you’re dating, she feels privileged that you’ve made time for her.
If you can combine strategies (1) and (2), then this is almost as good as being a wealthy business tycoon. This is because a lot of the time the pretty girls aren’t attracted to a man’s wealth per se, but rather they’re attracted to the traits that caused him to acquire that wealth, because women are generally attracted to alpha males.
Now, if you’re a bit of a slacker and you don’t have an army of subordinates who depend on you to call shots, you can easily compensate in other ways. You might want to volunteer with an organization, or join a recreational sports league. Anything that takes up your time and makes you less available should do the trick. But make sure it’s something you’re personally interested in and not an activity that you chose just to impress her. Another option (and probably the best one) is to date several girls at a time. Apart from the obvious benefit (i.e. the fact that you’re dating multiple women), this sends the messages to each of your conquests that you have options and therefore it can make you more desirable.
3) Be confident
This one is probably the most obvious and the most difficult. For those that don’t have it naturally, confidence needs to be worked on. And confidence in the dating game usually only comes with experience. Regardless of how you choose to go about acquiring confidence, if you’re going to be successful at dating pretty girls, it’s essential that you truly believe that you’re just as desirable as they are. Never assume that any girl is too good for you. Because if you don’t think you’re good enough, then she definitely won’t think so either.
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I suppose I could add a 4th piece of advice to my list. For me this one is probably more important that the first 3 combined. Strategy #4 is to be honest. Not necessarily with the pretty girls (that’s up to you), but be honest with yourself. There’s truth in the phrase “blinded by beauty”. A pretty face can cause men to overlook some major shortcomings. I know I’ve done it. So it’s important to be honest with yourself and to make sure that your own needs are being met. Once you do that, you’ll probably realize, like I did, that a lot of pretty girls just aren’t very attractive.
this is an important work right here. It needs to be read.
Nice one:
"These seem to be the terms of agreement that a lot of couples settle upon (i.e. he gets to look at her and be seen with her, and she gets to be constantly entertained)..."
Good advice. I've been blinded by beauty many times too. But this is good food for thought right here.
We'll call this the King James Bible 2010 edition
One thing I forgot... Never tell a pretty girl that she's beautiful. If she's as pretty as you think, then she hears this all the time. The idea is to separate yourself from the pack. If you fawn over the girl then she's only gonna think of you as her groupie and not as her equal.