One of the hot topics in 2011 was the supposed demise of men. As women have continued to shatter glass ceilings and seize upon the opportunities presented by improvements in gender equity, men have floundered. The percentage of male unemployment is rising while the percentage of men who attend university is shrinking. Also, last year marked the first time in modern history where women made up the majority of the American workforce. This collective realization has spawned an interesting sub-discourse as writers and academics have tried to understand why, in spite of women's new-found success, men continue to get their way when it comes to dating.
Several interesting and popular articles were published on this topic in 2011. Two of the best ones can be found here and here. The discussion starts out by assuming (for good reason) that men tend to want sex more than women, and in particular, men want casual, no-strings sex more than women. By contrast, women are more likely to seek out long-term relationships that require greater commitment. Although there are many exceptions, it appears there are several scientific studies that support this hypothesis. Now, given this fact, meta-analysis of data gathered from a wide range of societies across history and across the globe has shown that when the number of available men exceeds the number of available women, long-term relationship become less frequent, the number of marriages declines, and the number of children born out of wedlock increases. On the other hand, when men outnumber women, marriages occur more frequently and long-term relationships become the norm. Therefore it's a matter of supply-and-demand. When the demand for eligible men is high, men are more likely to get what they want, while women are more likely to compromise, and vice versa.
What's particularly interesting about the current scenario is that the growing failure of men in the professional realm is actually translating to men having the upper hand in the sexual economy. The logic holds that as the number of successful men decreases, and the number of successful women increases, the men who have their proverbial shit together are in such high demand that they can essentially "get away with murder" as one female author put it. Naturally this male-centred economy leads to some trickle-down, which is enjoyed by the growing number less successful men.
Several studies have been performed on college campuses which are thought to serve as a microcosm for how greater society will operate in the next few decades. University is where the diverging paths of male and female achievement are most visible, with women making up a significant majority of the student body on most campuses. Here researchers found that due to the sexual economics, men in university were able to procure sex with minimal effort or commitment. Comparing with data from previous generations, today's college students were more likely to engage in casual sex, and when they did enter into committed relationships, those relationships became sexual earlier than in previous generations.
Apart from the sheer numbers, Mark Regnerus, a sociology professor at the University of Texas, has suggested several other contributing factors. Regnerus' thesis is that the price of sex has diminished for a number of reasons. It turns out that the settings once associated with professional success such as university campuses, and big cities that tend to attract ambitious young people, are also the best places to meet potential partners. Therefore the growing presence of women in these arenas means that, from a male standpoint, the "supply" is higher. Regnerus also points to the increased availability of porn over the internet, which provides men with an alternative avenue through which to seek sexual gratification.
But I think the biggest factor is one that Regnerus and others have missed, or at the very least, misunderstood. The increased economic and political empowerment of women has meant that the penalty for what was once seen as promiscuity, has dwindled drastically. While many women may still prefer a long-term relationship over a casual fling, today it costs them relatively little to deviate from this goal from time to time. As more women engage in casual sex, even if they only represent a small minority of women, the norm for what men can expect from their romantic interactions with the opposite sex gets pushed further toward the casual end of the spectrum.
As it turns out, I don't see this new reality as a bad thing. And not for the reasons that you might expect <<unsuccessfully tries to fight back sinister grin>>. It's true that women may find it more difficult to get potential boyfriends to settle down. But when they eventually do find themselves in a committed relationship, it's probably more likely that the guy will be in it for the right reasons. Also, the prevalence of casual dating means that people will settle down later and spend a longer time getting to know many different people from the opposite sex. This can help them to gain a better understanding of what they truly want in a relationship.
Based on what I've observed among my peers, I know many men will do crazy things for sex, including entering into relationships that they know deep down are not right for them, or even convincing themselves that their feelings for a woman are stronger than they really are. Treating sex as a prize that can be earned only by submitting to a monogamous relationship, only encourages deceitfulness, and ultimately this can lead to painful break-ups down the road.
