Last week Craigslist removed the ‘erotic services’ section from their site; US authorities had been nudging Craigslist to moderate the aforementioned section for years. What was supposed to be a venue for adult women (and men) to sell sexual services had according to police become a hotbed of human trafficking and child prostitution. Rather than put in the resources to screen ads, Craigslist decided to pull the plug entirely. Fortunately for Canadian sex workers and johns, the ‘erotic services’ section on the Canadian version of Craigslist remains.
Like most, I imagined the world of sex work to be one of drug-addicted street walkers and dingy motel rooms. While working criminal law I had a few interactions with men and women in the sex industry, but nothing that provided much insight into their day to day life. Wanting to indulge my curiosity (without actually partaking obviously) I decided to surf the erotic services section of Craigslist Toronto. The first thing that hits you is the sheer number of ads. On any given day, thousands are posted, promising sexual favours ranging from oral sex in the back of a car to full blown sex in a 5 star-hotel.
But after scanning the first few pages it became abundantly clear that most of the ads were spam. Even more obvious was that the women advertised in the ads were almost always fake; a photo stolen from a porn site with the model’s face pixelated or blacked out. While a few posted photos showed the sex worker next to a Toronto Sun newspaper to assure clients of their authenticity, most didn’t bother, relying on the john’s naiveté or indifference instead.
Not wanting to reveal my phone number (there seems to be a universal rule that callers who block their phone numbers do not get answered) I emailed several women who posted ads and requested a brief interview over email. While most ignored my request, the few that responded seemed eager to share their stories. One woman, “Kirsten”, advertising herself as a Caucasian Canadian woman in her mid 20s, wrote to me that she had just returned to sex work after three months vacation. University educated but unemployed, she started sex work at the suggestion of a friend when her landlord threatened eviction. She began as a massage attendant in a parlour in Brampton, but later offered full sexual services after realizing how much more money she stood to make. She admits she never envisioned this lifestyle for herself, but has found herself enjoying it on at least a few levels.
It’s nice that I only have to work a few hours a day, 3 days a week. And the typical client isn’t who you’d automatically suspect. More often than not, you meet interesting people that make the job fun.”
But ‘Kirsten’ acknowledges that while her experiences in the sex industry have been relatively benign, many of her colleagues haven’t been quite so fortunate.
Most of the girls are new from Eastern Europe or Asia. They were tricked into it thinking they would only have to strip, or keep lonely travelling businessmen company on dates. But they end up in the life because they have nowhere else to go.
But while the Internet may have changed the way in which sex workers reach their clientele, its especially changed the way johns choose their sex worker. “Mark” contacted a sex worker through Craigslist, but became suspicious after looking up the address and seeing it led to a rather rough part of town. He decided to Google the sex worker’s phone number, and was quickly relieved he did - several men had posted horror stories of being duped by the very same woman;
Warning! First, the woman looks nothing like the picture. Second, if you try to leave and ask for your money back, the pimp threatens you with a knife!
What he had stumbled upon was an entire network of men, posting reviews (and sometimes warnings) for local sex workers. While Craigslist offered an unorganized mess of anonymous women, the message-board provided the user with ‘reputable’ businesses and independent 'service providers', again offering sexual services from nude massage to complete intercourse. Most of the massage parlours sat in nondescipt industrial buildings just outside the city, but the men nonetheless knew them from the inside out. Most men had their own personal favourite attendants, some going so far as to pay weekly visits and bringing the women personal gifts. (‘Hobbying’, as it’s known on the site can be an expensive habit. Prices range anywhere from 120 to 200 an hour for a nude massage.)
Escort agencies that advertised on the site were much more discreet in the services they offered, but the reviews were anything but:
Met with "Nora" today for the second time. Wow. This time at a local hotel. Wow, is she gorgeous. She is a vey petite Mongolian woman. Greeted at the door in a black silk robe, hint of black ligerie underneath. She kissed me like she knew me. LKF into DFK. She slowly helped me take off my shoes. Very sensual and slow, with lots of teasing. We made our way to the bed, LKF, DFK, rubbing and petting, a little daty, a lot of digits and on went the cover to the main event. 20 miuntes of slow controlled pounding, me standing, she on her back near the edge of the bed, spread eagle. Beautiful tan with bikini lines, the "o" and she cleaned me up. A very sensual time.
Face: 8+ IMHO
Body: One of the best, if you like small packages,
Attitude: For a safe GFE 10
She rocked my world and I will definitely be back. What a time.
“Mark” gave me the link for the site, but as you can see the jargon was so dense it’s virtually impossible for a first time visitor to understand what was actually being said. (Although Urban Dictionary provided plenty of insight.)
But what made the site truly odd was that several of the sex workers themselves frequently joined in on the discussion, offering their own personal insights into the business. One woman offered tips to make the sex worker feel as comfortable as possible, and thus make the client’s experience as pleasurable as possible.
With most girls YMMV (Your Mileage May Vary). If you treat a girl with respect, show up clean (most shower at the location prior to any intimacy) then you’ll probably get a good GFE (Girlfriend Experience). If not, she won’t be into it.
Several even provided relationship advise to the men that had difficulties meeting women in the outside world.
After exchanging a few more emails with "Kirsten", I asked her how long she planned on staying in the sex industry. She told me that she's currently studying fashion management at Humber College and would like to leave within the next year or two.
I want to get married and have kids someday. I've thought about whether I'd tell my husband or not, but I probably would. Whomever I do end up with though he'd have to be secure enough to accept my past.
"Whomever I do end up with though he'd have to be secure enough to accept my past."
That's an interesting way of putting it. I love when people rationalize their inability to find a quality mate by saying the potential suitors aren't "secure" enough to accept their past. It's basically saying, "I banged close to a thousand guys for money, but the men rejecting as a potential girlfriend are the ones who have the issue." In reality, if Kirsten is honest about her sex work with her future partner, she'll most likely end up with some loser who hates that she worked as a prostitute but feels like she is the best he can hope for. In other words, whomever she ends up with will have to be INSECURE enough to TOLERATE her past.
This gave me a business idea. Hook up with one of these sex workers then try to leave. When the "boss" threatens me with a knife, I beat the living shit out of him, and take his money.
Years ago I interviewed a male escort (for male clients) for a women's magazine. As a story, it was set to be my big break as the magazine was keen and would pay well for it. I met the guy and the madame of the brothel. Had a chat over coffee and scheduled the interview. When I called to confirm, they had pulled out. The one thing I remember was how casual he was about it. It was just a job to him. And his girlfriend didn't mind.
really interesting
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Hey, Kirsten goes to my school!