Flamboyant attention whore and celebrity blogger Perez Hilton could be going to jail for a federal crime (that boy done fucked up). As far as we know, Hilton tweeted a link to a photo that contained an upskirt shot of a sans-panties Miley Cyrus. This is not anything new for the blogger, having first popularized the vag slip with a number of photos of Britney’s exposed crack. But Cyrus is only seventeen, which by federal law constitutes Hilton’s tweet as distribution of child pornography, a charge that has an attached 15 year prison sentence. 15 years. Imagine that dude in the slammer, or more fittingly, the slammer in that dude (gross). Because if he is in fact prosecuted and convicted, sayonara to that sucker, that dude would be ice cream for freaks, all 31 flavours.
There is some speculation that the photo was shopped and that it is a fake. However, regardless of the photo’s authenticity, it still constitutes a form of child pornography under federal law; a naked photo of minor and a naked photo of Peter North with child’s head shopped in place of his own are considered one and the same thing. Even if Cyrus was wearing form-fitting underwear, the context of the tweet could still position the image as child porn. Whether the photo is real, fake, or doesn’t even feature an exposed vagina, Hilton is screwed, at the very least he can be charged. Just ask the teens that were charged of distributing child pornography for sexting each other or the parents who photographed their children bathing and uploaded their photos onto facebook. At the very worst, Hilton can be convicted where he will serve a 15 year sentence behind bars. Unless of course he can prove that another flaming idiot who posted every celebrity vagina that exposed itself hacked into his Twitter account and tweeted the link without his consent.
While, this could be a career ending move for Hilton, it only bolsters Miley’s burgeoning sexual image, an image that has been under development since she jumped on a 44 year old gay man’s crotch and proceeded to drop it like it’s hot. She’ll be 18 in five months and by that time she’ll be a considered a fully realized sexual adult and not a misguided idiotic child. Then and only then do we have permission to blog about her private parts should she expose them again for the world to see.
longest 5 months of my life