North Koreans have it rough. They routinely face sanctions thanks to the international community challenging their government. They even face food shortages thanks to their government itself. The North Korean people generally face an uphill battle thanks to the actions of their government most of the time.
The last thing they need to worry about is steroids, let alone lightning.
At the recent women’s World Cup five members of the North Korean team were found in violations of drug usage. The biggest scandal to rock the soccer world since Diego Maradona was found in violation in 1994 at the men’s World Cup.
The natural assumption from many will be that this is the actions of an oppressive regime pushing their players to the limit and beyond. Nope, lightning!
FIFA has already met with a North Korean delegation and heard arguments that the steroids were accidentally taken with traditional Chinese medicines based on musk deer glands to treat players who had been struck by lightning on June 8 during a training camp. (courtesy of ESPN)
Oh to be in that room when the brain trust in charge of the soccer program decided that lightning was the best way to approach this – “seriously guys, this one’s air tight!”
In all fairness, yes, five women could have been struck by lightning and then recovered through traditional Chinese remedies, which accidentally contained trace elements that had the same effect as steroids. In theory.
In another more accurate theory North Korea’s soccer federation is really bad at lying.
Lightning? Lightning!?!? It’s not even skepticism that raises questions here just pure rational thought. I think some eight year-olds might think this is cool initially, lightning bolts creating some sort of super soccer players. Even then you feel a good number of them still wouldn’t buy it.
With some rather frustrating headlines this week in particular, the kind that make you want to bang your head in frustration, this is a much needed change of pace. Thank you, North Korea, for ushering in this weekend on a high note.
