So Bad It's Good: 6 Unintentionally Funny Songs

Music and movies are probably the only two mediums where terrible work can sometimes make for fine art. In fact, if I had to choose between sitting through Schindler’s List or Road House, Road House all the way baby. Bad is good, so bad is great, and god awful can be, well, brilliant.

What makes crappy art better than “good” art? I guess it’s all about the intentions of the artist. Something done poorly, but with serious intentions, usually feels more sincere than something done purposely bad, and thus way funnier. When music is unintentionally bad, sure your ears bleed a little, but your soul is given so much in return. 

Here are six unintentionally funny songs (a list of movies is on the way, maybe).

1) Miracles – Insane Clown Posse

By now everyone and their grandmother has heard this latest ICP track and seen it’s really really bad video. And by bad I mean amazing! Listening to members Violent J and Shaggy 2 Dope trade poorly written verses on the miracles of everyday things (like motherfucking rainbows!) equals one of the funniest songs ever recorded. From being parodied on SNL to being dissected by Slate and The AV Club, “Miracles” is one of those oddball videos that gets experienced collectively, and spins way out of proportion. I fuckin’ love it!

Key lyric: “Fuckin’ magnets? How do they work?”

2) Unfaithful – Rihanna

I wonder if R&B singers take themselves as seriously as they let on? If they do they should be ashamed. Especially Rihanna, for this lamer than lame song about infidelity, and this chorus in particular:

"I don't wanna do this anymore
I don't wanna be the reason why
Everytime I walk out the door
I see him die a little more inside
I don't wanna hurt him anymore
I don't wanna take away his life
I don't wanna be...

A murderer"

(Pause for dramatic effect)

The video is an over-the-top mess too, with Rihanna rolling around on a piano in front of some Euro-trash looking dude (I should point out that said Euro-trash is a downgrade from the dude she’s stepping out on). And than there’s that faker than fake tear strolling down her cheek at the very end. It’s still worth the laugh.

3) Too Close – Next

“I wonder if she could tell I’m hard right now. Hmmm…” is the opening line of this very hilarious and sexually suggestive song about getting a boner whilst dancing with a woman. Nothing is left to the imagination. I heard this song in high school for the first time, and somehow missed the overtness of the lyrics. Listening to it years later, I was on the floor laughing with my friends, especially over this lyric:

“Step back you're dancing kinda close
I feel a little poke coming through
On you”

So fellas, next time you’re grindin’ with some chick, and a little poke is coming through, on you, you know you’re not alone.

4) Get Down – B4-4

Possibly the most amoral song ever written for teenagers, "Get Down" is all about… fellatio! Don’t believe me? Read this:

“I wanna know, exactly what to do, 
So that you'll never get me off of your mind.
Communicate, and I'll go undercover
Gonna make you come tonight, 
Over to my house”

I’m pretty sure that last line was tacked on to duck any suggestion they were promoting oral sex, but let’s be clear: that is what this song is about. You can’t fool me, B4-4!

5) The Touch – Stan Bush

I don’t know if the lyrics for "The Touch" are necessarily bad. They’re simple, but life-affirming. The passion Bush puts into it, however, is truly astonishing. His Sammy Hagar-sounding voice aside, this song wouldn’t be as great were it not for the fact that this is the theme song to Transformers: The Movie. Now when I hear it, I think of it as a nice pick-me-up on the way to work. I mean who wouldn’t feel inspired by these lyrics:

"You got the moves, you know the streets
Break the rules, take the heat
You're nobody's fool

You're at your best when when the goin' gets rough
You've been put to the test, but it's never enough

You got the touch
You got the power"

Ah the 80’s. When the power ballad was king. 

6) Ice Ice Baby – Vanilla Ice

Yeah, you can pick on Vanilla Ice as a lame MC, but he used the beat to “Under Pressure” better than Queen did. There, I said it!

Really though, don’t you just love hearing this song every so often? I wouldn’t put it on my iPod, but at a 90’s dance party a few months back, I was itching for the DJ to play it. Thanks to irony, what used to suck is good again!