I’d like to take a breather from Caged Wisdom to review the work of an actor whose filmography may not be nearly as divisive, but is just as entertaining as our boy Cage. That actor is Frank Stallone’s older brother, Sylvester.
Yes, the Italian Stallion is a true dashing fellow. A man’s man, who’s badassness is rivalled only by his rugged handsomeness. I managed to cop four Stallone movies for the price of one thanks to Blockbuster’s closing sale, and thank the bankruptcy gods for that. Among them were Demolition Man, The Specialist, Tango & Cash, and Over the Top. So without further ado are four mini-reviews for the price of one blog. Enjoy!
Demolition Man
The best of the four picks here by far. This movie came out in ’93, arguably when Stallone was still at the peak of his career before declining in the late-90s. It’s Stallone vs. Wesley Snipes in a future Los Angeles, where crime is non-existent, profanity is nil, and every restaurant is a Taco Bell! This is an almost perfect action movie with plenty of the usual trademarks – running from an exploding building, over-the-top villain, and useless police bosses. It’s also a good fish out of water tale. Stallone’s perfect playing badass cop John Spartan(!) in a pacifist society; and Snipes has the comedic role of a lifetime playing Simon Phoenix. I love their fight scenes with the two of them trading one-liners. This movie would also feature Sandra Bullock in probably her best role other than Speed, and Rob Schneider in the only movie where his annoying shtick actually worked for him rather than against him. Remember the three seashells?
This is easily the guiltiest of guilty pleasures Stallone ever made.
The Specialist
Sharon Stone in her prime, James Woods as the villain, and Rob Steiger with a Cuban accent. Oh, and Eric Roberts is in it too. Could this movie get any better?
Stallone plays a mercenary hired by Stone to get the man responsible for killing her parents (Roberts). He ends up taking the job and has to face off against his old CIA partner (Woods) whom he sold out years ago, who is now working for Roberts’ papa (Stieger). Along the way he falls in love with Stone and blows a lot of shit up. Not really that original, but Woods is hilariously outrageous, and Steiger’s a hoot playing a Cuban gangster. Sharon Stone proves why she was at one point the sexiest actress in Hollywood, and with that sultry voice and sleek body of hers, she seduces Stallone (and us) in no time.
Tango & Cash
Another “comedic” role for Stallone, as he’s paired up with rival top cop Kurt Russell (Cash) to find out who’s framed them for murdering a federal agent (it’s Jack Palance). Featuring a crazy, fight-sequence/torture scene/escape from a state prison, and some great riffing between Stallone and Russell, Tango & Cash was $55 million, production-plagued nightmare from the beginning, but the results are worth it. Stallone is in fine form playing an Armani-wearing, super-serious tight-wad to Russell’s sarcastic, in-your-face, blue-collar cop (sorry for all the adjectives).
Over the Top
People will likely scoff at this Stallone action/drama about a father who tries to reunite with his estranged son because of the plot’s ridiculous focus on an arm-wrestling tournament that climaxes the film, but I actually liked this movie for its simple story about a father and son bonding through a difficult time. Stallone plays a truck driver who tries to mend fences with his spoiled rotten son Michael when the boy’s mom falls terminally ill. He runs up against the kid’s grandfather (Robert Loggia), who wants Stallone to get the hell out of dodge. But the kid needs a father, and he and Stallone manage to connect while on the road, taking part in some arm-wrestling matches along the way.
I know the idea of a father-son reunion tied around an arm-wrestling tournament might seem cheesy and ludicrous to some (I wonder how they pitched this idea to the studio), but this is perfectly harmless, and somewhat genuine film about parenthood and male bonding. Even the arm wrestling is kind of endearing. There are clips of each competitor speaking to the camera about why they’re in the tournament. There's the usual macho talk from most of the contenders of course, and then there's Stallone, whose answer is very honest and practical: “It doesn't matter if I become the champion or anything. That's not the most important (thing)... I need this truck,” he says.
I’ve never attended an actual arm wrestling tournament, but I can totally believe they exist and are probably frequented by the blue-collar types featured in this film. And there’s nothing wrong with that. This isn’t a movie for your artsy, Manhattan-types. And I didn’t enjoy it on an ironic level either. I admired its sincerity. Nothing in this movie feels fake or “over the top” if you will (even Stallone crashing his truck into Loggia’s mansion seemed fitting for some reason). This is a movie for the everyman, and to its credit, the film never reduces Stallone or Loggia to silly stereotypes. They’re both flawed men trying to do what’s best for Michael. This might be Stallone’s most endearing movie next to Rocky.
