The last time I checked, I had just over 500 “friends” on Facebook. And from what I can tell, that places me at the lower end of the popularity spectrum by Facebook standards. On one hand, the website can be a really useful tool for connecting with people and organizing events, but at the same time, it becomes so easy for those events that are really worth attending, and people who are really worth connecting with, to get lost in the shuffle.
One such person is my old friend Tavis. When we were kids, he used to live across the street from me and we hung out literally everyday. When he moved away, I used to ride my bike or walk for 5 kilometres across town to go kick it with him and his twin brother. But we had fallen out of touch since his family moved to Scarborough when we were in grade 9. Here’s the actual Facebook thread from our first conversation in 10 years, after he messaged me out of the blue one day.
Tavis:
April 13 at 12:46am
How’s it goin’ stranger. Its been a while. Just wanteed to say hi. Hope your doing well. Peace!
Kai:
April 13 at 12:35pm
Holy shit!!! Tavis what's good!?!?! You're right. It's definitely been a while. I probably wouldn''t even have recognized you if I just came across your pic on someone's profile.
I've been doing well. How about you? I saw your mom, dad, sister and your new niece (or nephew? I can't recall) at Dundas square last summer. It must be almost 10 years since we've seen eachother. That's nuts. Where do you stay at nowadays? If you're ever downtown you should hit me up so we can go out for a drink.
It's really nice to hear from you. Hope all's well. Take care and be in touch.
Kai
416-555-1234
I’m ashamed to say that was over a year ago, and after all the excitement in my tone, which was trully genuine, me and Tavis have yet to meet up. He called me once shortly after this correspondence and we caught up briefly but neither of us followed up. I take the brunt of the blame since he was the first one to take the initiative. But some of the blame lies squarely at the feet of Facebook itself. More than any piece of technology before it, Facebook has succeeded in placing thousands of potential “friends” just a click away, and as a result, a chance encounter that would have been a rare privilege under other circumstances, instead was reduced to the status of a regular occurrence.
A similar thing has happened with music. Back when it was all about cassettes, you had to sit through an entire album or else struggle with the rewind and fast forward buttons for several minutes just to cue up the song that you really wanted to hear. CD’s made it much easier but, at first, you couldn’t burn your own CD’s and who really had the money to buy all the CD’s they wanted? Then, a forward-thinking 19-year-old came up with the idea for Napster and everybody started buying PC’s with built-in CD burners. All of a sudden you could download just about any song you wanted for free and compose your own CD of personal favourites. A couple years after that, Apple released the iPod and it was the beginning of the end for albums as we knew them.
Whereas before you were forced to sit through songs that didn’t win you over immediately but that would grow on you over time, now you could instantaneously sift through the filler and go straight to the hits. But it wasn’t just the technology that changed. Our attention span and our overall appreciation for the artistry that went in to making those less popular songs has taken a huge blow as well. And that’s only the beginning.
I have a little cousin who recently turned 7. Every time I go over to my Aunt’s house, I can’t help but to be impressed by the ease with which this kid is able to navigate his technological environment. He’s a smart kid and is infinitely more computer literate than I was when I was his age. Before he could read, he was demonstrating a level of competence in role-playing games on his Nintendo DS that kids of my generation couldn’t have dreamed of. The only problem is, he’s not interested in anything else. He probably spends hours each day playing virtual sports games on his Nintendo Wii but I don’t think the kid owns a single piece of actual sports equipment. I don’t remember seeing a basketball or soccer ball in his house from the time he was born.
It’s cool that technologies like Nintendo Wii are getting closer and closer to real life, but that begs the question… Why not just play these games in real life? It would be cheaper, keep you physically fit, and help you make real friends, not just the facebook variety.
I once heard a comedian attempt to demonstrate how arbitrarily we cling to new technology just for technogy’s sake. He said that if the telephone had been invented after instant messaging, people would have been completely enamoured, IM’ing their friends like, “Have you heard of that new thing they have out now called the ‘telephone’? It’s so awesome. You can actually hear the other person’s voice in real time!”
Now that’s real talk... For a change.
I hate talking on the phone, but I wonder if it's because I don't have to talk on the phone.
Having 500 friends places you at the bottom?! Where am I with 40 friends?
i can't remember the last time i talked to someone other than the GF on the phone for a significant amount of time... txt and im messaging have far surpassed it as the primary mode of communication. and yet, its technically more primitive than a phone call.