NO offence to William H. Macy, but he is the sorriest-looking mother fucker working in movies today. He just has such a sad-looking face - it's like Droopy Dog meets Joe Lieberman. I guess that's why he's always cast as losers (Fargo, Boogie Nights). In The Cooler, he plays an even bigger loser named Bernie Lootz (sounds like lose), a Casino jinx who "cools" tables. The film explains what cooling a table is by showing Bernie go from one poker table to the next. Every time a player gets a lucky streak going, there's Bernie standing close by. Sometimes he waves his hands over the chips, or he just sits there moping. The next thing you know the player busts and the House wins.
Bernie is a born loser. He lost big to his boss and "friend" Shelly (Alec Baldwin), the casino manager and gangster, and works off the debt he owes him by using his "gift" at the tables (he also gots his knees capped and now walks with a limp). In six days, he will have paid off his debt and pledges to leave the casino for good. That's when Natalie (Maria Bello), the beautiful cocktail waitress shows up. She comes on to Bernie in a diner and asks to go home with him. He asks her if she wants money. There's no way a woman like her could want him. She insists she's not a prostitute. They have sex back at his motel in one of the most un-erotic love scenes ever filmed. Despite the bad sex and awkwardness afterwards, Bernie is content and Natalie even seems to like the little guy (and his little guy).
The film would be good if it were just about Bernie and Natalie's relationship, but there are some great subplots that help to strengthen the story. Alec Baldwin gives one of his best performances as Shelly. His character is pure old school. He uses a "cooler" to get people to lose, employs violence whenever someone tries to cheat, and even employs a washed-up, junkie lounge singer (Paul Sorvino) as entertainment. He's loyal to the old ways of running casinos and resists change.
He clashes with Larry (Ron Livingston), a Harvard business graduate who wants to turn Shelly's beloved casino into a Disney-style attraction. Larry brings along a Harry Connick, Jr. clone to replace Paul Sorvino, suggests changing the wallpaper to more muted colours, and plays elevator music with subliminal messages that say "lose" in order to drive up profits. With this young punk threatening to replace him, it's no wonder Shelly is so hell bent on sticking to the old ways.
As Bernie and Natalie's romance gets serious, Bernie's luck begins to change. Gamblers no longer seem to be losing when he comes by. When Natalie leaves him a love note, Bernie walks into the casino on top of the world, causing the casino profits to drop by a million dollars in one hour. This reversal in his fortunes sets him on a collision course with Shelly, who wants to keep Bernie around.
The Cooler is a lot of things: a love story, gangster picture, fantasy. It's for all the Bernie Lootz's in the world. Even us Dashing Fellows.
