I recently read an online article that claimed a recent scientific study had found that men don’t begin to lose their desirability until the age of 36. No such threshold was cited for women, but I think it would be safe to say the number is below 30. In fact, the old locker room adage of “divide by two and add seven” probably wouldn’t be far off in this case. Guys may recognize this formula as a rule of thumb some men use in determining whether a woman is too young for them to date. This example offers a glimpse into the inordinate value men, along with society in general, place on female youth.
Nowhere is this phenomenon more apparent than in the entertainment industry. For example, George Clooney and Brad Pitt remain perennial frontrunners in discussion of “sexiest man alive” despite the fact that both are in their mid-to-late forties. Meanwhile Jennifer Lopez, who just seven years ago was considered one of the hottest women on the planet, had all but disappeared from the landscape of sex symboldom long before she reached 40.
This double standard has placed a huge burden on women, many of whom go to great lengths to live up to it. Past a certain age, women are expected to wear makeup that conceals the signs of aging while men are largely excused from this responsibility. For women that are especially desperate to look younger, they may take the more drastic step of getting any one of a number of painful and expensive surgical procedures designed to take years off their appearance.
These are just a few of the many mechanisms women use to cope with their insecurities about aging. There are many others. But the one I find most puzzling is something that most people wouldn’t generally associate with women who are self-conscious about looking old. I’m talking about women who date much older men.
No doubt, there are countless factors that can contribute to a woman choosing to date a much older man. Older men tend to be more established in their careers and they often have more relationship experience. Also, many have outgrown the insecurities that preoccupy younger men, who themselves are obsessed with their appearance, the desire to succeed professionally, often leading to competition between lovers. I’m also sure the experts would posit their own explanations based on reproductive biology or a pathological need for a father figure.
However, my hypothesis is that all these explanations are trumped by a much more pragmatic motivation. Most of the women who fall for and marry much older men are acting out of a subconscious fear that a man their own age would eventually lose his attraction to her as both individuals get older and the man finds himself still able to attract women much younger than his wife. In this way, marrying an older man offers a type of insurance policy protecting women from having to suffer the same fate as Jennifer Lopez and every other young starlet, who was ultimately jettisoned in favour of younger female talent.
