I do not disagree with the idea of getting a bunch of your closest friends and family together for a party but I am confused as to why we worry ourselves to death planning a wedding and also allow ourselves to get scammed into overspending for one day of our lives. I am positive that I am in the minority with my opinions and most people will speculate that I am indeed dead inside (and at the very least cheap) but I cannot justify the time, effort and money that goes into a typical North American wedding.
The engagement ring
The ring is the beginning of the journey toward marriage and not surprisingly, its meaning has been lost in the obsession on the cut of the diamond. Who decided on three months salary as being the right amount? I never understood why a man had to spend three months of salary to prove to his bride-to-be that he loves her. I thought the whole act of asking the woman for her hand in marriage was enough proof. The worst part of the engagement ring is that many women seem to be fixated by the size of the rock with some equating it with how much she is loved (I am looking at you "Single Ladies" Beyonce). The engagement ring ends up being like a sports car in both cost and that the more expensive models get flashed around and shown off.
The planning
The stress that comes with trying to plan a wedding is immense and should be avoidable. Making sure Uncle Joe does not sit beside Aunt Jane because they had a disagreement twelve years ago at Thanksgiving dinner is ridiculous. Worrying about whether the table cloth goes with the decor is absurd. Agonizing on who to invite should not happen because it should be easy to differentiate on who has to be there instead of who not to upset. So much effort is put into making everything perfect that at times it ends up making all parties involved uptight. For sanity sake maybe it is easier to do the destination wedding or take it one step further and just elope. At the end of this stressed out $20,000 event, the best that most people hope for is that nothing goes too wrong.
The cost
Weddings are way too expensive. You can put a pretty decent sized down payment on a house for the amount that you will spend on one day of your life. If you book a room and say the word "wedding" the price automatically triples. I cannot believe how much a florist or photographer charges for a wedding. The money you spend on flowers is outrageous when you consider that they will only be on display for a few hours and at the end of the wedding you will be hoping that some of your guests take them home so they can be enjoyed for at least a few more days. One of my friends who is about to get married quipped that after getting quoted for $5000 from a photographer who was only going to take pictures and put them on a CD that he should consider quitting law and taking up photography. A few of my cousins have decided to bypass the flowers, dj and photographer by just having a dinner at a restaurant instead of a reception and it is hard for me to disagree with this idea.
I am all for celebrating marriage with the people you love but do we really need all of the pomp, pageantry and bridezillas that come with the typical American wedding?
I say it's a 50-50 split on how extravagent a wedding turns out to be. I know women are seen as being the ones that want all the pomp and circumstance that we associate with weddings, but it takes two to tango.
That being said, I've been to several very nice weddings, and those extra floral arrangements added a nice touch (kidding). I do think people tend to go overboard for just one day. All I care about is the music and the food. The rest is gravy.
a friend of mine who is quite wealthy spent $500,000 on her wedding a few years ago. that's right -half a million dollars. it was a huge circus wedding that involved 6 outfit changes, a red ferrari, a helicopter ride and a 12 course dinner with shark fin soup and swallows next. but no matter how wealthy a person is, i still can't justify this amount, time or energy on one event.
i think weddings are a waste of money. i made the mistake of putting that as my status on MSN last year. my best friend read it and freaked. apparently maid of honours shouldn't be so negative towards weddings. well now i know. i had the "privilege" of being in 3 weddings around the globe last year and got invited to about half a dozen more. while being there for the "most important" day of my friends' lives was great i came to the conclusion that i wouldn't put my friends and loved ones through having to spend a ridiculous amount a money for my "special day."
side note: The crappiest thing about being invited to a wedding is that apparently even if you don't go you are expected to give them a gift??!?! I hate social etiquette
Actually that 'cash grab' aspect of weddings may be the only good reason to have one! Maybe the whole wedding custom was the kids idea... Parents pay for the wedding and everyone gives you free shit. You make out like a bandit!
people like having big weddings because it's the one day ordinary people can feel like they're a big deal in their lives... if your wedding day is the most important day of your life, maybe you should look into having other stuff going on...
It seems of all my friends, it's always the girls that does the planning. Now I know why...it's really the girl that cares, and that's why she puts so much effort into it.