In 2006 Tito Ortiz, one of the most recognizable athletes in mixed martial arts, shocked the MMA world when he began dating porn actress, Jenna Jameson. At first I thought that it was probably a fling between two relatively young, successful entertainers looking for excitement. Then, almost two years later when the couple announced that they were expecting twins, I can remember thinking, “Is this guy crazy? What man in his right mind would want a porn star to be the mother of his child?” Which got me thinking even further…What woman in her right mind would take on the stigma of being a porn actress and drastically limit – if not eliminate completely - her professional and romantic prospects in the future?
In the case of Jenna Jameson, the explanation seems to be embedded in her life’s trajectory starting from childhood, where she experienced the gamut of traumas that one would expect of a would-be porn star. In her autobiography she writes of being savagely raped (on three totally separate and unrelated occasions!), and of having a tumultuous relationship with her father whose affection she desperately yearned for but never really got. There were also a few abusive relationships and multiple stints as a hardcore drug addict. Though she claims, astonishingly, that none of these experiences contributed to her being a porn star, I, along with probably every board certified psychologist north of Antarctica, beg to differ.
Though these women may deny it, the choice to become a social pariah - outside your won fringe community - requires a certain level of pathology. But for a man idolized and respected by so many, to obliviously flout every applicable social norm and enter a long-term relationship with one of these women, seems even more pathological.
Tito’s has no doubt paid a heavy price for his choice of partner. In November 2006, just months after he began dating Jameson, he was forced to cancel an appearance at a United States Marine Corps event, where he was slated to be the guest of honor. The reason? The Corps refused to let him bring Jameson as his guest because of her work in porn.
If I had to guess Ortiz’ motivation for dating Jenna Jameson, I’d have to say it’s probably for some sort of personal validation. I would imagine there is something gratifying about dating a women, about whom countless men have fantasized over the years (even though I doubt Jameson was wearing a wedding dress in most of those fantasies). Still, when I think about how much he’s sacrificing to be in this relationship, in addition to the fact that he always seemed a little bit 'off' in terms of managing his emotions and behaviour, I have to think that there’s a gaping void that he’s attempting to fill through this relationship. Gaping.
maybe he's over, over compensating for the fact his real preference for the man-on-man ground-and-pound.